Be The Change

Yesterday I ended talking about how some people start of with a complaint and end up turning complaining into a way of life. They turn into complainers who only see the negative and they feed off one another. I don't think anyone means to become a complainer rather they start off venting about an issue as anyone would but instead of saying their peace and letting it go they allow it to consume them like a cancer and soon they are constantly miserable and constantly complaining. I work with a lot of complainers. Every office, school, church, etc has its complainers. Here at my office we have people who complain about their workload and how morale is down and they want management to fix everything for them. What my colleagues and other complainers need to understand is that it isn't up to our managers and supervisors or anyone else to improve morale, it is up to you. We are the masters of our attitudes and the ones who decide how we are going to handle a given situation. It's the old "if life gives you lemons make lemonade" outlook. It is a cheesy overused saying but it is true. You don't like the work you do or the amount of work you have? Change your job or change your attitude. Why do we think others should fix things our problems? This isn't the America that our fore fathers fought and died for. America was built by men and women who did something instead of complaining and asking others to fix it for them. If the founders of our country dealt with things the way many do today we would still be a British colony sending our complaints to the Queen asking her to fix it for us. Don't let other people control your happiness! We control our attitudes and we are the ones who are in charge of our happiness! You can either sit and wallow with other complainers bringing each other down or you can rise up and show everyone else a better way. If everyone would commit to stop complaining to each other and instead lift each other up your office would change 100 fold. Misery loves company and attracts more misery. Negative, unhappy people have a way of finding each other the way Google has a way of finding websites. They seem to have a built in GPS that is able to locate other miserable people wherever they are and together they spread their unhappiness like a virus. People today don't want to do the hard work to pull themselves up out of their misery rather they look for someone to blame and demand they fix it! Management doesn't dictate if your office is a great place to work anymore then our Government decides if this is a great Country. It is the people that make a place great be that an office, a home or a Country. Everyday we have a choice to either affect our world for the better or worse. It isn't easy and often it is a choice that needs to be made constantly over and over again.

Of course once you make a decision to have a good attitude and be a positive influence on others that doesn't mean you will always succeed. There are times you just won't feel like trying. It is in those times that we need to recognize how we are acting and pull ourselves out of our funk. Just last night I found myself in a negative mood. I wouldn't call it a bad mood but it wasn't good by any means. I was just kind of withdrawn and in a bit of a funk. Tiffany noticed and called me out so I could rise above it but all I did was get more irritated. I don't know why I was in a mood other then I just wasn't trying to be in any other type of mood. I allowed myself to get complacent and lazy and wallow in my own emotional filth. I could try to blame my attitude on a small headache I had or on the long day at work but when push comes to shove it was just my own fault for not trying to be better. The result of my bad attitude is that Tiffany didn't have a great night and when she woke up today she felt down and in a bit of a funk herself. I am not quite sure what affect I had on our guests that were over but I imagine that they aren't going to be jumping at another dinner invitation from us too quickly. All because I made a choice to not have a positive attitude.

We make millions of choices each day and I believe that the most crucial choice that we make is what type of attitude we are going to have. Life is tough and it isn't going to get easier. You can make a decision today to be positive force on this world or you can make a decision to complain and be negative.

A few months ago I came across a quote by Gandhi that really impacted my outlook on life. He said "You must be the change you want to see in the world.". It is up to us to make a difference at our work and in our homes. Don't hand some one else the keys to your happiness and trust that they will lead you the right way. Take control of your life and of your workplace and make a difference! Be the change you want to see in the world!! Be the change you want to see in our Country! Be the change you want to see in your office! If you commit to having a better attitude it will spread and soon you will find yourself in the environment that you used to ask someone else to create for you. Be the change!

Mondays might suck but not as much as Tuesdays!

Monday….what can be said about Monday that hasn't been said a million times before? The weekend has come to a close and the work week has begun. To be honest though Mondays really don't bother me as much as Tuesdays do. I have a general dislike of Tuesdays. If you really think about Tuesday brings the least to the table compared to the rest of the work days. Sure Mondays suck because you are back from the weekend but at least you are refreshed from having some time off and the first day back usually goes quickly. Wednesdays are rough because it is that middle point of the week but you know that once you push through you are at the downward slope of the week. Thursdays offer the assurance that tomorrow is Friday and thus the week is over. But Tuesdays…really what is good about a Tuesday? Tuesday follows the dreaded Monday but now unlike Monday you are no longer refreshed from the weekend and you have nothing to look forward to because tomorrow is Wednesday!

In today's world though I guess I have no right to complain about having to come to work though. It is a far better thing to have a job than sitting at home unemployed. Still feels good to complain from time to time however. The trick with complaining is to say your complaint and let it go. I have noticed that people often turn a complaint into their way of life. I have much more to say on this topic but I will save it for tomorrow.

Adderall…not to be confused with Alderaan

Well it's freaking January. Year end is in full effect at work and things are crazy busy. Clients call in with the most random and repetitive questions this time of year. The most common question is when they will have their W2's. I am sick of that one and we are only 7 days into the year! I am thankful for a job though and being busy makes the day/week/month fly buy. I honestly can't believe it is Thursday already. Thank God for Adderall! Ever since I got on Adderall I have been much more focused and even happier than ever before. Here is the story.

I have always joked that I have ADHD but I was never officially diagnosed and I never sought medication assuming I was just a scattered brain moron. Well about year ago I started to really feel like I could just not concentrate on anything. Looking back I don't think anything changed I just think getting older I became more aware of it. It became a problem at home and at work and I was getting tired of it. I still didn't do anything to fix it but I was tired of it. I started to look into causes doing what all Americans do and typing in symptoms in Google. Well everything kept coming back ADD/ADHD. I took some online tests (some pure joke tests some more "official") and every symptom they listed I had to some degree. Some of the symptoms I had so severely and they were stated so accurately I was amazed that others felt this way. I made an appointment with a shrink who specializes in ADD but due to an error on their website I got the wrong address and couldn't get to my appointment so as a result I wasted an hour of my life looking for an office that didn't exist which caused me to freak the F out and never try to go back. Fast forward to a month ago. I was having more problems then ever concentrating at work and since I needed to find a new primary care physician anyway I made (or rather Tiffany made because once again my patience couldn't handle dealing with the receptionist) an appointment to see a regular doctor. I talked to him about random crap for a while like Diet (why do doctors think I need to be told to lose weight? Do they think I haven't noticed? I mean really every person in the world who is overweight knows that they are and don't need to be reminded that they need to lose some pounds) and such before I dropped on him that I have ADHD. Now being the avid reader of online Hypochondriacs that I am I figured he wouldn't believe me straight off so I told a small lie that I was diagnosed as a child but haven't been treated as an adult. He believed that I had ADHD (perhaps he heard me rummaging around the office while I waited and noticed that my leg was about to fall off from twitching) and prescribed Strattera. He said his daughter was on the same drug and that he liked it because it works well and the prescription can be written with refills as apposed to the other drugs which are considered a controlled substance if you don't have a prescription. He loaded me up with samples and sent me on my happy way.

I was very hopeful and optimistic when I began Strattera the next day. I knew that this would be the start of something great! Well it wasn't. The Strattera did help my concentration but it came with some funky side effects. I would get chills followed by hot flashes that left me feeling like Blanche from Golden Girls, I had pain while urinating and headaches from the depths of hell. I still continued with the samples knowing that some of these things were from my body getting used to the medicine until I was hit with the biggest and worst side effect of them all. My insurance doesn't cover Strattera so if I wanted to get my prescription filled it would cost about $250 a month!! That was enough for me to tap out and head back to the doctor!

I wasn't scheduled to go back to the Doc for another 5 weeks so I called and spoke to one the assistants explaining my predicament. This time I didn't put my faith in the Doctor to prescribe what he thought instead I suggested switching to Adderall. I had done a lot of reading and in that reading Adderall seemed to be the best of the stimulant ADHD medicines for Adults. It has been around for about 50 years known by one name or another and it is available in generic. I told the nurse that my insurance didn't cover Strattera and said that I wanted to be switched to Adderall because it was available as generic and I had been on it before and seen positive results. Ok I hadn't been on it before but I was hopeful that it would work well and if it didn't I would just wait for my appointment and see what the Doctor thought. She checked with the Dr and he prescribed Adderall XR 30mg. I took my script to Walgreens and $7 later I got my 30 day supply.

Day one on Adderall I noticed an immediate difference. I was more focused and clearheaded than I have been in a long time. I was able to sit and concentrate on my work but I still felt like myself. I felt like David 2.0! Some people I know who have tried ADD medication said they didn't like how it made them feel different and closed off. I don't feel any of that with Adderall. I feel like it just helps me focus in on what I am doing or who I am talking to. I am able to shut off the noise that is normally going on in the back of my mind and really listen to people. I even feel happier! I am nicer to people and when I talk to them I actually care about what they are saying. It is an adjustment but a happy one. I know some people who use Adderall abuse it to get a "high" and after a while the "high" goes away so they do more drastic things like crushing it and snorting it! I don't know how it affects those who do not have ADHD but I don't ever feel a high when I take it. I just feel like I am more myself and less of an asshole honestly. I can still be random and goofy and quote movies like it is going out of style but I am able to also push that stuff back and focus in on what matters. Before I would always be too busy thinking about what smart ass comment I was going to make or how what you just said reminded me of a movie quote instead of listening to people. I was more concerned with trying to be funny and making myself sound smart then actually listening to people and considering what they said. Now with Adderall I feel like it helps me be the best me I can be yet I am still able to retain my personality and my own flare for stupidity. My patience has improved and to put it simply I am just all together happier. I have felt like this before without medication but normally it was for only short doses and it would only be while I was doing something that I wanted to do not when I was working. Best yet my marriage has been improving due to the fact that I am actually able to pay attention and retain what Tiffany says!

The only side effect I have had is dry mouth which doesn't really come up any more and lose of appetite which I don't really consider to be that bad of a side effect (I am sure the Doctor will still tell me to lose weight when I go back). I do wish it lasted longer though. Normally I take it at 8am and anywhere between 5-7pm it begins to wear off. Not a bad span but I would like to be able to have a little more concentration at home some nights. When I go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks I am going to ask him about upping the dosage to 2 times per day. The only problem with that is because stimulants are abused by so many out there I have to get a new prescription from the doctor every month in order to get a refill. They don't allow refills or the doctor to call in orders for Adderall. Thankfully my doctor is close to my work and I just go down on lunch to pick it up. In order to take it twice per day though I think I would have to have two scripts so we will see what he thinks. Not the end of the world if I just stick to once per day so I am not concerned.

I am sure some out there are going to read this and think that I am just some pill seeking junkie or someone who could concentrate if I only tried and that I am just lazy. If that is how you feel then that is your opinion and you are entitled to it. For the rest of you out there I would like to say that getting officially diagnosed with Adult ADHD has changed my life. Using this medication has cleared away the clutter in my head and allows me to think clearly for what seem like the first time. It is like those two British ladies from how clean is your house have moved in and restored order to the chaos of my head. I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to improve my life now and work towards being a better person. Looking back I realize all the time I have wasted doing absolutely nothing and it makes me sick. No good dwelling on the past though, it is best to just accept that it happened and learn from it. Moving forward each day I am trying to become a better human. I am not perfect and I will still screw up but I will keep moving forward. To quote Rocky Balboa, "it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" I will keep moving forward….right after I take my pill.